Letter #22 Fight Night

Now that everyone is like "Oh my gosh, what a rebel, he fought someone?," no, I was not the one fighting.

BUT, 11:00 or so at night, I get roused from my five foot cushionless bed. This better be a matter of life or death, Elder. -Oh, it is actually. -Alright, wake up Elder Orteney, let's go

Right outside our house, about forty people gather, a couple with guns and knives, making a circle around two dudes, vaguely resembling Laurel and Hardy in size and shape.

From what I could understand through the window (don't worry, I wasn't dumb enough to go outside), one dude was caught with the woman of the other dude and that dude called his dude friends to bring their dude guns and kill the first dude. But, the first dude also called his dude friends to bring their dude guns and dude up with him. Typical dude-off.

But, not all the dudes wanted to shoot their dude guns at all the other dudes, so they proposed a dude fight, just the two dudes in a ring in the street. -Elder Schenewark, what do we do.
-I'll call the Ward Mission Leader, have him call the police to come here and break it up

-Hello, Lucas
-Elder, I'm on a date right now, this better be a matter of life and death
-As a matter of fact, it is. But, first, date? What's her name, she there right now, why didn't i know about this?
-She's right here, next to me
-Want to look real manly, super quick?
-Sure
-You wanna call the police for us to come break up this fight and prevent a shootout outside our house real quick?
-Huh wha...
-Thanks, love you bye

And that's about how it went.
Police showed up, only a couple of punches were thrown, no shots fired, Lucas looked like a hero in front of Silvia ;) and I got to go back to bed.

One of the brothers in our ward invited us over for lunch. Steak, what a lovely night. BUT, the man went full lamanite on that cold cut. As he was sticking the stuff on the grill, he was casually gnawing on an uncooked sausage. I like my meat rare, extremely rare, but I wasn't gonna go for the other sausage he tried to get me to try. Cold and pinkish white with ice built up the the outside, it takes a real man to gnaw down one of those.

We were walking in the street, both swinging umbrellas, when we heard the scream of an old lady on the sidewalk. At noon, there was this rat, not dog sized but getting up there, staring here down and slowly moving towards her, like a tiger.
Enter ELDER SCHENEWARK
Happy Gilmore style golf club/baseball bat swing with my umbrella
THWACK
THUMP
MEOW
SNARL
Onomonopeia aside, made good contact, sent him into the wall, maybe not killing him, but definitley putting him on the ground for a while.
Then the neighbors cat appeared in the window. Then he pounced, no more rat.

-Oh my goodness young men, you must have been sent by God.
-Well, now that you mention it, he sent us here to deliver a message to you. Do you have a second to here it?

And we've also been teaching a pastor, named Adauto. Good guy, little strange but open to hear and learn, plus he's come to church a couple of times with us. But the problem he has right now, is that he believes that there are soo many churches because God gives us various paths to follow, more individual to the person, depending on their likes and stuff, it was a little hard to understand. Plus, it didn't really makes sense to me. He didn't give us multiple paths, he didn't give us multiple churches.
He gave us One, His son Jesus Christ. And His son established His one true church, here on the Earth.

But, it was lost, after He died and His apostles were killed. When this happened, there wasn't "one true church" on the Earth, there were thousands of churches all with parts of the truth, but never the whole, unadulterated gospel of Jesus Christ.

But God is our loving Father in Heaven. He wouldn't let His children dwindle and die in unbelief.
So when the time was right, He restored His church, here on the Earth once more, through means of a living, breathing prophet.

And this is the message we shgare down here. That the true church of Christ exists on the Earth again, and He invites all to come unto Him.

I love you all, miss you
Happy Birthday to me again,

Elder Arnold Palmer Meets 'My Fair Lady'