Letter #32

So, first off, got in THE WEAKEST Ônibus accident in the history of accidents. We were on the bus, and this dude in a truck, one of the big ones, was drunk, and also texting, but really really drunk. So, he's flying around the roads, doesn't see us, stopped at a bus stop, until the last second. Slams on the breaks, doesn't quite stop, taps our bus. Four passengers on the bus, us, and old Asian dude (named Kevin, we'll get to Kevin later). and this lady. Lady starts screaming, Kevin starts laughing, we just kinda sat there.

Then Kevin gets up and starts talking (also, why is every Asian person I meet named Kevin?).
Flashback to the beginning of our week. We're going through the list of members with Samurai Jan, and she was like, there are so many Asian people on this list, why am I the only only one in church?
So we made our goal, bring an Asian to church.

So, we're visiting all of these Asian people on the church list, I learned a lot about Brazilian Asians. They are either going to make your day or throw something at you. First three people, all dead. the family members didn't like us too much, so we left fast. Then we had a streak of the old, sweet, toothless Japanese men, invited us in, tried to feed us strange Japanese stuff, mostly alcoholic. But, all the people, either dead or moved out. We were just finding their relatives. So, Saturday, we trudged out again, out of names, out of Asians. Then, Kevin happened

-back to Kevin on the bus
Laughing his head off. Turns to us, puts his hand on my shoulder
K- I was suppossed to die today
Me- what is he talking about?
K- I had a dream that I would get into a bus accident today and die, and I was really nervous, but then when I got on the bus, I saw two young men, both so full of life that I knew I wouldn't die as long as they were on the bus. The truck should've killed me but because of you guys, KEVIN LIVES.
-He kinda yelled the last part
Me- so, you're Kevin, hi Kevin, I'm............ You want to come to church with us this Sunday?
Kev- Will there be any single Japanese women my age?
Me- Yeah actually, there will. What are your thoughts on Samurai?

So he came to church, we got our Asian man, he asked our Samurai on a date, she said no, but I've got a feeling he'll be back to try again.

 And that's my Asian week, tune in next time, where we talk about the other life long question: who wins in a head on collision between a horse and a VW Fox???

Love,

Elder Sake Sake Shiitake