I didn´t bring the book that has new emails so I´m guessing. Also if you're reading this and have no idea who I am, email me, let´s be friends.
So, Mom, you stole my theme but I´m still bouncing with it
A WEEK OF FIRSTS
The First First
Yes, I got a new companion but he´s not my first
Second First: The Great Car Crash
This one, wow. It´s a known fact that Brazilian women are pretty free and easy with the way they dress (many stories to come I´m sure). What you may not know is that Brazilian men love to look at said Brazilian women on the street. So there´s this woman, walking down the street, and this man on a motercycle. Said man is watching said woman. While driving. For a while. He ends up almost completely turned around to be able to see this woman. Doesn´t see the Onibus. Hits the Onibus. Not a pretty sight.
g
Ye will only inherit the back of an onibus
Lesson learned
THE THIRD FIRST
This one´s a big one. This is the first one. Been drinking a lot of juice, rice and beans yeah yeah. First meal, at a member´s house. I look down. Chicken spine, full spine, right in the middle of my plate. Later that week, we´re back in her house. Pigs feet. I think she´s just out to test my limits. Downed them both easy. Iron stomach. What really killed though was her beans. She doesn't serve whole beans. She purees them. A lot. Bean juice. As if beans didn't come out easy enough.
"Eat your fiber, fiber, fiber" -Priscilla Hutchins
and that leads tooooo
FIRST THE FOURTH
Those who have any respect for hygiene may wish to skip ahead. FIRST WEEK WITHOUT TOILET PAPER. This one was rough. I have suffered though weeks at scout camps, countless nights in the woods. This is worse. And isn't stopping anytime soon. Apparently we´re in a no flush zone, don´t flush toilet paper, throw it in the garbage. Still gross. Everyone takes that to mean, No Wipe Zone. I promise, I find a way. It´s hard, but I find a way. However, I don´t know what I´ll do when then ever foreboding Montezuma´s Revenge arrives.
First #5
First time being sprayed down with a water hose by a random woman on the side of the street. At least it was some decent water pressure though.
Sixth First
First time I saw a dog fly
There was this dog. More of a rat really. Just the mangiest, most annoying, most disgusting, loudest piece of trash on a string you've ever seen. Never have I wanted so bad to just be rid of an animal. Apparently the owner felt the same. Owner walks on kitchen, dog follows, yapping its tiny little garbage disposal of a mouth. *YELP* Dog, followed briefly by foot, makes a glorious but brief Wright brother´s style flight out of the kitchen, across the living room, out the front door, into Kitty Hawk and the history books.
We go to our celebrity judge, Nastia Lukin
"Thank you Elder, yeah it would seem our contestant did in fact NOT stick the landing"
I know I shouldn't have found it funny but I just kept thinking about the song from Dumbo
"Did you ever see an elephant fly
Well I seen a horse fly
I seen a dragon fly
I seen a house fly"
And now I've seen a dog fly
Numma the Seventh First (This one´s for you Dad)
Lady in our ward, fantastic lady, love her, does so much.
She can´t control her left hand from the shoulder down. Probably the after effect of a stroke. But she doesn't let that stop her from using it. Oh no. If you, or her neighbor in this case, are sitting on her left side, look out. She wants to put her hand on your thigh, she slings it into your thigh. She wants to put her hand on your shoulder...."It´s the bottom of the ninth, Bobby Thompson is being removed from the line-up, pinch hitter Katiana Ribeiro steps up to the plate. The pitch.....
There's a long drive ... it's gonna be, I believe ... The Giants win the pennant! The Giants win the pennant! The Giants win the pennant! The Giants win the pennant! Katiana Ribeiro hits into the lower deck of the left-field stands! The Giants win the pennant and they're going crazy! They're going crazy!
Instant concussion
And the final First,
First time solo-ing in Church. Twice
I´m not a great singer, I know this, chances are you know this. Two times, I´m asked to lead the music. Of course I say yes. I go up, get ready, Sister Cataracs starts playing on the piano. I wave my arm, start singing, nobody joins. That´s alright, sometimes it takes a minute for people to join. Right about the end of the first verse, I kinda realize, yeah, nobody is joining in. And this isn't a "I can´t hear anyone because I´m nervous and facing the other way." This is a "nobody has even bothered opening the book" moment. Two songs, four verses each. The second one was the Spirit of God. Yah
If A Poor Wayfaring Man of Grief is chosen next week.........
I dare them
That´s about it. Everything else has just kinda been going. But it´s all good stuff. This is just the stuff I have time for.
Last thoughts, turns out I don´t have a camera cord. Am on the lookout. Sorry. I need addresses sent to me, I have a stack of letters with only names here. This is going to be my normal time emailing now. Sorry for the longness of the letter. If you don´t have time to read it all, that´s alright, I forgive you.
Weekly scripture, Alma 17:13
And it came to pass when they had arrived in the borders of the land of the Lamanites, that they separated themselves and departed one from another, trusting in the Lord that they should meet again at the close of their harvest; for they supposed that great was the work which they had undertaken.
This is a great work, I know this and I have been able to see this, even it it has only been a week. The light of Christ is bright but it needs to be shared.
Go forth and share
Love you all,
Elder Skid Marks
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