Letter #5

Dear Family, it´s me.

The theme of this week is Time, which, unfortunately, I don´t have much of.

1. TIMES WE SAVED ANOTHER PATIENT X
If you´ve been following my adventures, youvé heard about the first Brazilian who collapsed, I caught and carried. AND, it happened again. I walked into my room to change for physical activity, yuh, and there´s a lone Brazilian, crying. I walk over and am putting my arm around him when he just collapses. Exciting stuff. Don´t know where his companion was. SOO, I lay him on Elder Webster´s pristine, Marine style bed (sorry Elder W) and allow him to sweat, cough and otherwise convulse whiule I tried to figure out what to do. Eventually, gave him a blessing (in Portuguese? sure) and got some teacher people up there to take care of him.

Thought it was over? PSYCH> The next night, I´m chilling in my bed, it´s 10:30, I´m taking out my contacts and he climbs up my latter and whispers (in Portuguese? yes, keep up he´s Brazilian) that his throat is bleeding. Pop the ole flashlight back there, sure enough, blood running down the back of his throat. Tasty. Rush him to the medical desk, lady does her thing. Success. Still not sure what´s wrong with him.

2. TIMES WE GOT ASKED IF WE WERE PREGNANT
For those of you who have been wondering the same thing for a while, I will squash some rumors. I'm not actually pregnant. BUT, because we had a 24 hour fast last Saturday Sunday, I pounded 4000'ish calories of straight beans and rice. I was popping a food baby, yes, but its still impolite to ask, just saying. Couldvé been offended

3. TIMES WE GOT ACCEPTED INTO THE COLOMBIAN URBAN LIFESTYLE
Not gonna lie, one of the better things that happened to me. I made eye contact with this Colombian Elder one day during lunch and sent him a little fist pump. He sent me one back. We had a little conversation through the language of dance. Then he came up, told me I had the soul of a black man and disappeared into the maze of the CTM. YUH. I always knew I had it in me somewhere.

4. THE TIME WE GOT REALLY BORED IN THE CLASSROOM
We was definitely a little bored, just booling, learning some Portuguese. We were tossing lunch cards around, three went out the window. I wanted to throw one out to, but since mine was already gone, I convinced Elder Tebbs to let me throw his, once, from the hallway. Long story short, it hit the metal corner on the window frame and exploded, violently. Fun stuff

5. TIMES WE FOUND OUT THEY SELL FAKE BUT DOPE LOOKING NIKES
Just read the subheading again, update coming next week.

6. TIMES WE GOT THE STAIRWAY TO HEAVEN ON THE BACK OF OUR HEAD
Little angry about this one. All you ladies (and you Dad, I promise it´s not just girls) know I´m a short on the side, long on the top kinda guy. Well, tried to get that slick zero fade (mission aprroved) and the barber got everything perfect. EXCEPT, it didn´t actually fade and the boy cut a triangle out above one of my years. My and my 3-D model of the feudal system would´ve been angry BUT, who am I trying to impress over the next two years? not my eternal companion (but, if youré out there, HMU girl)

7. TIMES WE HAD A DEVOTIONAL IN THE AMAZON
This one was rough. I roll up on Tuesday night, slick midnight blue suit, you already know, yuh, for our devotional. SOMEONE (President Grahl) decided that it would be better if we had the heat cranked to 90. I had sweat drippping down my face to the floor. Gross stuff. Then, we had to learn this one song, to sing. It was played at about 40 beats per minute, even though it´s supossed to be at about 75. FUNERAL MARCH. Everyone is falling asleep. To prevent myself from joining them (though I later did) I narrated a funeral eulogy to my companion. This led to us hiding behind the song papers so the Sister conducting wouldn´t see us laughing/crying/sweating all over her papers. Once again, sorry Elder Webster.

8. TIMES WE STARTED WWIII
This one takes the cake. Some Brazilian saw on the news in a pharmacy that North Korea tested a nuclear bomb and Japan was getting nervous and wanted permission to build their own. However, mixing languages, person to person, whatever, by the time everyone settled on a story, North Korea had dropped two hydrogen bombs on Japan, Kim Jong Un was planning on dropping an album, and the Japanese were dropping the 2020 Olympics. Had to get that one cleared up.

That´s about it, I´m still trying to figure out how to do that though,

Keep me bumping with the news. love you all,

Until next week,

Elder Led Zepplin -------> out