Letter #50

The One Time I Serena Williamsed A Bus

Don't be too confused by the title, it's a lot more confusing than it sounds. To start, let's just get started. We, Elder Alardin and I, went to Campinas to do something with his Visa. Then, we had to wait like four hours for the bus. So, we waited in the mission office (@G). And then we ran to the bus station, getting there well before the bus was supposed to leave, to buy tickets and stuff, right?
Wrong.

"I'd like to buy a ticket to Itajubá, 5:30."
-Bus has already left
"But it's not even 5:30 yet? Can I buy one and then if you were right, I'll trade tickets."
-Nope, you're a loser, go sleep in Ouro Fino
"Fine, give me the 6:50 to Ouro Fino."

So, then I took the escalator down to the buses, just in time to see the bus to Itajubá role IN.

"Can I buy a ticket real quick, the lady wouldn' sell me one, she said it had already taken off?"
-Nope
"Why?"
-Because well, I don't want too
"I hate everybody who works for this company, you know that"

So, we catch the bus to Ouro Fino, aqbout half way.
Two hours into the trip, the bus runs out of gas. GARDENIA BUS COMPANY, you are the worst.

-Who wants to help give the bus a push??? How 'bout you in the white shirt, let's give this bus a push brudda...
"Don't call me your brother, I don't like you, but service is service."

So, I, and my new friend Otâvio, take my position behind the bus, in the rain. 3,2,1 go
Hnngh (the pushing sound, right)
Nothing
"Hey pal, tell him to take the parking brake off? Thnks."

3,2,1, I was imagining ever Christopher Nolan movie ever. Where the protagonist (I like to think of myself as a protagonist) tries, fails, tries again yelling really hard and gets the job done. I almost choked laughing so hard. My boy Otavio looked at me for a sec, the started laughing too, even more when I explained why.

3,2,1, I couldn't help myself, I gave a Ben Affleck worthy yell and we both died again.
The second bus dude wasn't too happy with us, but whatevs' right?

So, we get the bus rolling into the station in Jacutinga, thankfully it was like 200 meters without hills, not terrible. We get there, the bus driver gave us an unmotivating speech about how if we wanted, the company would pay for us to stay in a hotel in the city. Our choices, the Gandhi hotel of the Son of Gandhi hotel.

YEAH RIGHT, like I was staying in the Gandhi hotel, I've seen that movie, he dies in the end. And Son of Gandhi, that's like saying you're going to watch King Kong and going to see Son of Kong, not gonna happen.

But, if you want, I'll also continue on to Ouro Fino, and you guys can come with.
So I had to motivate the crowd a little bit
O Captain! my Captain! our fearful trip is done,
The ship has weather’d every rack, the prize we sought is won,
But there's no way I'll stay in this city,
I ride the bus with you, start the bus son.
He didn't like it, or it might not have translated it.

And I have two more stories, but no more time. So, I'll save them.

Just know that they involve laxatives and kicking down doors.

Until next week,

Love



Elder Tony Robbins