Letter #33

What a week. I feel like I'm writing this letter from a dream. Also, hopefully I'll be able to get some pictures to actually send out. At least we'll try.

So, first. We got a call to visit an old man who got bit by the Brazilian Wandering Spider, called "The Armadeira." AKA, the most dangerous spider in the world. And while we were there, the spider showed up again. And we found him when he bit me. On the arm. He was a biggen.

So, I smashed the spider, we went to the hospital, they told me I was fine. I was like, nuh uh, this other dude's arm was decomposing, why will I be fine?

So apparently, this spider does this thing called a dry bite, where it doesn't inject venom. And that's what happened. I still had enough venom in me to cause some swelling in the bicep (I looked HUGE, like super ripped) and some bruising, but other than that we all good.
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Picture of the bite and bruising five days after (also, I forgot to flex, so sorry)

Everybody gave me chocolate. One sister gave me chocolate because of what she said after i won the contest (some pretty strong words for an 80 year old lady). I also got a chocolate Easter egg, not sure why, but hey love it.​

I left my Louis Vuitton ping pong paddle in the ping pong shop, and some dude came in and asked to buy it, so i got a call from the shop owner, Adriano, asking me how much i thought it should go for and how much i wanted. i told him, he can sell it, and keep all the money, just keep letting me mess around with the ping pong stuff. So, later, this dude's friend came in asking if he had any more of the same brand, and that's how I become famous, but not until after the mission.
Presenting...PRESTIGE 4...the perfect ping pong paddle
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Just some works in progress,  it takes only like twenty minutes for me to make them, but also, i only have Monday 1:00 to 4:00 to work, soo...

AND NOW THE COOLEST STORY OF MY MISSION TO DATE
featuring Kevin

Kevin went to church last Sunday, and asked out Carmen, the Samurai again.
She said no. He asked why, she said she would never go out with someone who smoked.
So he asked us to help him out.
Background facts, we did some math
Kevin is a very scheduled person. He smokes one cigarette every 30 minutes, from in the morning to 10 at night.
33 per day
12045 per year
He is 84 years old
He has smoked since he was 19, the first year, 8 per day
The next two, 16 per day
After that, he hit the 33 and has 62 years smoking 1000 per month
761390 cigarettes to date
And he never had a desire to quit.
We made a goal, lets smoke half the number this week, can you do that?
If it gets me a date, it's done

Imagine my surprise when Friday i got a call from him
Elder, come to Carmen's house, we've got a ceremony to perform.
??
So we go, he has a cigarette in hand
This is the last cigarette i had scheduled to smoke
I smoked 16 on Monday, 8 on Tuesday, 4 on Wednesday, 2 on Thursday, and I had one scheduled for today with Elder Schenewark.
(He thought I meant everyday, smoke half of what you smoked the day before, but that's not what I meant, but I'm glad it worked out)
And I want to trade it with you Donna Carmen.
This cigarette for our date. And this one comes with a promise that I'll never smoke again......
SHE ACCEPTED
He wanted it the next day, but she pushed him back to tomorrow.
Old people love is just the best.

But, I asked him why, why he stopped smoking.
His answer was perfect.
Elder SheyShey, for the first time in my life, I had two things that I wanted more than anything, and smoking was stopping me from getting them; the love of my life and the true gospel of Jesus Christ. I never had these things in front of me before. And I want them. And so i stopped. I would've stopped on Sunday, but you looked so happy when I agreed to your plan that I stopped today. And I know that I'll never have the desire to pick up another cigarette in my life. Because i have the two most precious things I could ever want, and nothing can take that away from me. I want you to have this, it's my ping pong paddle, I can't play anymore, but I just need you to know how grateful I am for giving me my happiness.

Yesterday, he bore his testimony in front of the whole church, without a doubt the best testimony I have ever heard. It was a little jumbled and there were silences that lasted twenty or thirty seconds while he thought, but it was the most sincere, pure, and heartfelt testimony I've ever heard. When he finished, I almost stood up and clapped, but I held back. Kevin knows that the things we teach him are true, and in his words, "These last two weeks, I have discovered more happiness in my life than in the other 84 years."

This gospel is true, he knows it and i know it. it brings happiness unlike anything else we can hope for in our lives. If you are searching for happiness, you can find it in the gospel.

I love you all,
Until next week
Elder I GOT A PADDLE FROM AN ASIAN DUDE AND IT'S SICK